We men understand women

[Michael McSpadden]

Subject: We men got ourselves dem jokes too !





Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
Th! e dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I mar! ried a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men ! until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth !

[klrgunn]

What do you say to a women with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you have obviously told the bitch twice already...

[Bigdog57]

"Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy."

Ain't y'all ever seen the 400 pound broad in spandex slacks and haltertop, glaring red lipstick and smelling like she swam in cheap perfume . . . ?

[klrgunn]

Originally Posted by Bigdog57

"

Ain't y'all ever seen the 400 pound broad in spandex slacks and haltertop, glaring red lipstick and smelling like she swam in cheap perfume . . . ?

Yeah, there all at Wal Mart

[klrgunn]

Do you know what 50,000 battered women have in common?

They can't keep there fucking mouths closed

[G-unit]

Originally Posted by klrgunn

What do you say to a women with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you have obviously told the bitch twice already...

Do you know what 50,000 battered women have in common?

They can't keep there fucking mouths closed

Not so funny.

[Griffon]

50,000 battered women? Funny, I always eat mine plain..

[GHorton]

How many women does it take to paint a wall?

It depends on how hard you throw them. Heh heh.